New Stock Market Terms

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BEAR MARKET
a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and
the husband gets no sex.

BROKER
What my financial planner has made me.

BULL MARKET
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

CASH FLOW
The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

CEO
Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO
Corporate Fraud Officer

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

MARKET CORRECTION
The day after you buy stocks.

P/E RATIO
The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

PROFIT
an archaic word no longer in use.

STANDARD & POOR
Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST
Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT
When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

VALUE INVESTING
The art of buying low and selling lower.

WINDOWS
What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.

YAHOO
What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

CONSIDER:

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But...
if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and then
turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.


NOTICE: Unknown author is not affiliated with Freedom School.
NOTICE: If anything in this presentation is found to be in error a good faith effort will be made to correct it in timely fashion upon notification.
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