New Stock Market Terms

BEAR MARKET: a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and
the husband gets no sex.
BROKER: What my financial planner has made me.
BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
PROFIT: an archaic word no longer in use.
STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.
YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

CONSIDER:

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But...
if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, and then
turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

NOTICE: Unknown author is not affiliated with Freedom School.

Specialty Areas

All the powers in the universe seem to favor the person who has confidence.

More & Other Information - Resource Pages
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Bonds		Attention Signing the Constitution Away
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Jurisdiction		Law related items
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Money		Oath related items
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